Thursday, 29 December 2011

Slow down,think and that'll do.

I have days like today where I press pause and actually stop doing anything. I am always creating, being mum, cleaner, cook, chauffeur, posting work on the internet, and trying to make ends meet. And then today I stopped for a short while, actually while I was cleaning the car windows inside as I have been cursing every day at the hand prints and smears as I am driving in the sun. I sat for 5 mins in total silence in the sun in the car, and just stopped.

It's moments like these that give me a reality check.......nearing the end of the year, Christmas passed that fast with my husband having to leave on Boxing day back to work in UK, that it all just seemed to have flown by. What have I actually achieved this year? have we scraped through? how my little boy has grown, what have I done to better myself,? why do I ignore my health? why bother doing craft fairs? what a waste of physical and mental energy. Have I become a really lazy artist with no creativity?

It's hard being on your own for 24 hours a day more or less with a five year old for over half the year, with a passing hello/hola and a fleeting glimpse or phone call from family. You reflect a lot and doubt a lot. You become more withdrawn, it's easier just to try and fumble on some days, and it becomes harder to make and keep friends.

I am not one to make resolutions or even challenge myself with goals, I like to learn and test my ability though, I believe a lot in fate and destiny and actually myself. I just feel I have to now channel my energy and become more focussed on creating for me.

People who know me truly, will know this is not me in a hole this is the way my brain always rambles on, sometimes I allow myself to go into 5th gear but most of the time I am tearing along in 3rd, and this is just me putting on the brakes and waiting for the red light to change.

So after a pensive 5 mins, I came crashing back to earth with a child asking for help fixing a lego airplane. So what have I been doing the last few weeks:

Well I had a little show at the El Retiro Gallery in Turre, Almeria, slow turnout as most folks were on holiday wind down , or had gone away. Made a measly 20 euros for the local Paws-Patas Dog charity by raffling off a custom pet portrait. I had 27 new pieces on display since my last show at Easter and created 4 new pieces in the week before. Will post some later.

I decided to switch up my game and do a portrait, I am a big fan of Hendrix and decided to spend a little time with him!! The pictures of the Jimi Hendrix mixed media portrait, show the work in progress, and yes he needs more but had to leave it to contemplate how much more.

I added song lyrics from "little wing" into the background and would like to do a softer fade with pattern towards the bottom but this is for later. To say I haven't done a full portrait for a long time I am actually liking this one, more work needed on his afro as well, he had more dreads in his so will work on that so he looses the MJ style.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Bianca, I really like this portrait! I also really enjoyed this post. xo Jen